How all Total Drama shipping would REALLY work
by StayOuttaMyShed
Summary: Chris McLean here, working with Chef to bring the fan shipping that you all love to write about to life. We'll bring in the members of your favorite ships to get together. With how much you guys love to write about it, I'm sure each ship will go perfectly...
1. Intro

"Hello, readers! My name is Chris McLean, host of the Total Drama series. Maybe you've heard of me," Chris said with a laugh. "Today, I'm starting a bit of an experiment for our fans. You see, season 5 of Total Drama is in production, but if Revenge of the Island was any indication, it'll take years for season 5 to hit TV. And because it will take so long for us to make new episodes for you loyal viewers, I've been racking my brain about how I can keep you guys interested in the show while you wait for the new season. Then it hit me: We needed to interact with you guys more!"

Chris walked over to a computer and motioned to it.

"So, I got to researching about what it is you fans enjoy to do. I stumbled upon all sorts of things. Fan art, tribute videos, blogs. It was some pretty cool stuff. However, the thing that interested me most was the content right here on this website. After coming here, I knew one thing was for certain: You guys LOVE to write fanfiction."

Chris chuckled to himself.

"And not only that. You guys also love writing about the contestants from the show getting into relationships with each other. Actually, you guys seem to like doing that A LOT. I mean, holy heck, this website is filled to the brim with...what do they call it, shipping?"

"How the heck should I know?" the voice of Chef responded from behind the camera.

"Come on, Chef. You're not just here to work the camera for me. You're supposed to know these things."

"Yes I am," Chef retorted. "You specifically told me: 'Chef, I need someone to work the camera for this fan thing I'm going to do. That's all I ask of you.' You didn't mention nothing about having to know the lingo these fans use."

"Whatever, the point is, you guys like writing about our contestants hooking up," Chris continued. "Which gave me the idea of how I could have the show interact with all of you while we wait for season 5 to start up. We're going to make all this shipping that you guys enjoy so much come to life! With each new update, Chef and I will bring in two of the teens that you guys like to ship, and we'll put them together. Then, we'll sit back and let the sparks fly. After all, according to all of you, the people we bring in are destined for each other. What could go wrong? What do you think, Chef?"

"I'm thinking I'm starting to regret helping you with this train wreck waiting to happen," Chef responded.

"Don't be like that, Chef. After all, this is for the fans, remember?"

Chef grumbled behind the camera as Chris continued.

"Now then, let's get this show on the road. The first ship we have ready for you readers is a fan favorite, despite it being a bit of a controversial one. First up: Noah and Cody!"


	2. NoahxCody

Cody walked out on to a beach, looking around for something in a perplexed manner. After a short bit of searching, he suddenly heard a voice call out for him.

"Cody!"

Cody looked back and saw that the source of the voice was none other than his friend Noah. He smiled as he went to go say hello.

"Hey, Noah. I haven't seen you in a while. What are you doing here?" Cody asked.

"I got a letter from Chris saying that he wanted me to come here for something. I figured it was about competing in a new season and I've kind of been wanting to give it another try after I did so much better in World Tour than I did on the island. How about you?"

"Same, actually," Cody responded. "I guess Chris is gathering us all for a fifth season. We just must be the first ones here."

"Cool. Who all you think he's going to let it?" Noah wondered. "Maybe they're going to do a huge season with everyone. Even those guys from the fourth season."

"I don't know. I hope Gwen is in, though. I've been meaning to talk to her for a while," Cody said.

"What, things not work out between you and Sierra?" Noah asked with a chuckle.

"Me and her are just friends," Cody responded. "I think she's obsessed with some guy from a boy band now, so she isn't really interested in me like that anymore. Plus, I figured Duncan and Gwen are already broken up by now. Duncan's such an ass that he's probably already left Gwen for someone else."

"Wouldn't surprise me," Noah added. "That guy was a jerk. I can't even fathom how any girl would want to date him."

"I know right? I mean, he's a bully, a cheater, a criminal. What do people see in him?" Cody mused.

As Cody and Noah were talking, Chris suddenly emerged from behind a nearby bush, taking the two of them by surprise.

"Guys, what the heck do you think you're doing?" Chris asked, impatiently.

"We could ask you the same thing, McLean. Why the heck were you hiding in that bush?" Noah asked.

"Me and Chef were watching you from there," Chris replied as he motioned at Chef, who also made himself noticeable to Noah and Cody.

"Why does Chef have the camera?" Cody asked. "Shouldn't he be preparing our first crappy meal?"

"Guys, we've been recording you for the fans," Chris said. "We brought you two here today so you guys could enjoy each other's company."

"You wanted to record us hanging out for the fans?" Cody asked while scratching his head in confusion. "Why?"

"You're not supposed to be hanging out. You're supposed to be hooking up!"

Cody and Noah's eyes grew wide as Chris said this, both of them obviously dumbfounded at what Chris was talking about.

"Hooking up?" Noah asked. "Like, how Bridgette and Geoff hook up?"

"Yeah, you two are supposed to hit it off and get man crushes on each other. The fans write about the two of you being in a relationship all the time! That's why you guys are here," Chris explained, seemingly only making the two teens further confused.

"They write about us being gay?" Cody asked. "How does that even make sense? I like girls. Heck, I've been crushing on Gwen since day 1, haven't they noticed?"

"Maybe, but they noticed Noah kissing you more," Chris retorted, making Noah's look of confusion turn to a look of anger.

"How many times do I have to tell you people that it was an accident! I was asleep! I could have done that to anyone, it just happened to be Cody," Noah said. "Plus, it's not like I was kissing his lips in my sleep, it was just his ear. For the record, I like GIRLS."

"Not according to the fans you don't," Chris said. "Cody has a decent amount of fan stories about him and girls, but you're dominated by gay shipping, my friend."

"Shipping?" Noah asked.

"It's what the fans call it when they put characters in relationships in their stories," Chris explained as he pulled out his phone. "And I'm seeing stories between you and Alejandro, you and Owen, you and Duncan, heck even you and Ezekiel."

"You must be joking," Noah said as he grew angrier by the second.

"Nope, but none of them come close to the amount of stories between you and Cody. Holy crap, there's a lot of them," Chris said as he looked on his phone. "Hey, this one is rated M. I bet it's about the two of you doing it!"

Chris bursted out laughing as Noah turned irate, while Cody fought the urge to vomit.

"Give me that." Noah snatched the phone from Chris and looked at it as Chris continued to laugh. Noah glared at the phone as he looked at the website Chris had on it.

"Oh God, he wasn't joking," Noah said. "There's hundreds of stories about us."

"Honestly?" Cody asked as he peered at the phone. He looked genuinely hurt as he looked away from it. "But I like girls. How could they write about me like that?"

"Because they're a bunch of morons, that's why," Noah angrily yelled as he tossed the phone back at Chris.

"Come now, Noah," Chris said as he started to calm down from his laughing fit. "You're one of the fan favorites. The fans love you!"

"Well, I don't love them," Noah bluntly responded. "Seeing that was just sick, and I didn't even have to read any of the stories. What kind of sad, lonely, perverted, freak writes stories like that?"

"Hundreds of people, apparently," Cody sadly replied, making Noah cringe in disgust.

"That's it, I'm out of here."

Noah turned and began to leave, prompting Chris to try and stop him.

"Noah, don't you want to give Cody one quick kiss? You know, for all the NoCo fans out there?" Chris asked as Noah stormed off.

"Screw the fans," Noah yelled back in response. "And NoCo is the stupidest name for a couple that I have ever heard in my entire life."

As Noah left, Cody approached Chris.

"Are there at least any stories about me and Gwen on there?" Cody asked.

"A few," Chris said as he looked at the phone. "But your most popular ship is easily with Noah. Plus, these writers seem to be busy writing about her and Duncan."

Cody looked at the ground sadly.

"Of course it's Duncan," Cody said. After a few seconds, his look grew angrier as he looked at the camera. "Screw Duncan and screw you guys!"

Cody stormed off, leaving Chris and Chef to themselves on the beach.

"That went well," Chef commented, causing Chris to chuckle.

"Looks like the Cody and Noah ship didn't work out too well," Chris said as he turned to face the camera. "Not to worry! We got plenty of ships made by you guys. One of them is sure to work. Feel free to recommend us ships that you want to see us make happen in the reviews. We already got some planned, but we're open for feedback as well. Until the next update, this had been Chris McLean. Thanks for reading."


End file.
